I've been infected by James's ominous, staccato delivery. This is Fifty Shades of Grey I'm talking about. Steele just wants a regular boyfriend (or does she? Yik yak yik yak). Here, her voice is quite different: meticulous, inventive, radical and conflicted Grey is only interested in a dominant/submissive relationship (with these "hard limits" – no fire, no faeces, no blood loss, no gynaecological instruments, no children or animals, no permanent disfigurement, no breath control and no direct electricity – I paraphrase for brevity).
James writes as though she's late for a meeting with a sex scene. In normal circumstances, it would be lazy, but here, it is more like a shorthand. Is it his looks? His civility? Wealth? Power?" Yuh huh.
#Hot scenes from 50 shades of grey drivers
The narrative drivers are pretty slack – improbable dialogue ("I'm a very wealthy man, Miss Steele, and I have expensive and absorbing hobbies") lame characterisation irritating tics (a constant war between Steele's "subconscious", which is always fainting or putting on half-moon glasses, and her "inner goddess", who is forever pouting and stamping) and an internal monologue that goes like this … "Holy hell, he's hot!" "No man has ever affected me the way Christian Grey has, and I cannot fathom why. The trilogy features Anastasia Steele, who falls in love with Christian Grey, a troubled young billionaire who likes sex only if he can accompany it with quite formal, stylised corporal punishment. But its content is, of course, rather adult. By which they mean "it's the fastest-selling novel of all time that isn't Harry Potter". It's the fastest selling adult novel of all time.
There's just been an extra print run for the UK market, to meet demand: 2.75 million copies. In the UK, it's the fastest-selling book ever in both physical and ebook incarnations. I t's pointless to deny that there's something going on here: EL James has now sold 4 million copies of her Fifty Shades of Grey trilogy via her UK publisher, Random House, to add to the 15 million (it beggars belief) that have been shifted in the US and Canada.